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  • feedwordpress 14:13:24 on 2016/07/02 Permalink
    Tags: , erotic quotient, , losing my virginity, , sex life, sexual pleasure   

    Erotic Quotient – How To Measure Sexual Pleasure 

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    Erotic quotient measures the immeasurable, defines the indefinable, quantifies and calculates pleasure.

    Erotic quotient is the sum total of foreplay, orgasm and afterplay, an isosceles triangle with orgasm at the peak. Sex without orgasm is like decaffeinated coffee or warm champagne, an aberration, the denial of life’s essence.

    The first time you have sex sets the metric of your personal erotic quotient for the rest of you life. In my case, I suppose I was lucky. During a week in Spain, I became friends with a Spanish boy named Ricardo. We had no language to cloud our enchantment and knew deep down we would never again see each other after that last night of my holidays when we danced at the disco, wandered down to the beach and swam naked in the midnight sea. We joined like two slippery fish, like the sign of Pisces, and on a scale of 1 – 10, our erotic quotient was an existential 11, a gold standard eternally hard to reach.

    You never forget the first time you make love. If it is awful, and it is for many girls with their doubts and pressures and insecurities, making love will always be haunted by that first experience. If, on the first time, you get that WOW! sensation, that sense of: ‘Now I know what they’re all talking about,’ sex becomes the fulcrum around which your adult life turns and the erotic quotient is a marker that all further experience will be judged against.Erotic Quotient – How To Measure Sexual Pleasure

    • Sex is nice.
    • Sex is painless.
    • Sex is healthy.
    • Sex is fun.
    • Sexy is sexy.

    You need sex (or a scientist) to make babies. Sex is that warm cuddly thing like an old pair of slippers you slip into with the person you love and trust. Great sex makes sense of the nonsensical and fires the quicksilver up the erotic barometer until it explodes in ecstasy.

    Erotic Quotient Index

    A blend of nature and nurture determines how we behave and how we conduct our relationships through life. What we do between the sheets is largely a product of how your sexual personality was shaped by those early couplings. When you lose your virginity, the foundation stone of your erotic quotient is laid and all further affairs and romance build on that foundation.

    Sexual pleasure is important, vital, and its value should not be underestimated or devalued. Sexual pleasure leads to a happier, more balanced, often more fulfilled life. Life without sex, especially for a young person, can end in depression, fatigue, paranoia, even psychosis.

    Celibacy, still practised, among others, by Catholic priests, is not healthy or wise. On the contrary, it is unnatural and alien to every species that has ever existed. There are no animals nor plants without pollination and fertilization.

    Making love is a gift, the greatest of all gifts, the only human activity where the more you give the higher the erotic quotient. Making love is a meditation – and the secret of meditation is not to ruminate on something but to empty your head of all thought and let go, be in the moment, merge with the moon and stars.

    If you start thinking – ‘this is great, I’m making love’ while you are making love, you are not making love at all. You are pedalling through the motions like riding a static bicycle on a journey to nowhere. Worst still, if you start thinking about something totally tangential, like whether or not to buy the red shoes you saw that morning in a shop window, the erotic quotient drops like icicles from a gutter.

    If you want to make the most of your sex life and reach the heights of your sexual desires and potential, it is crucial to get in touch with what lies deep inside you. If the man in your bed scores low on your erotic quotient, it is up to you to bring more excitement between the sheets.

    If you are a shrinking violet, buy a mask and play the minx. If you have a routine, a familiar position, reset the default and bring out the unpredictable. Try introducing sex toys (discreetly available on the internet and more sophisticated than ever); suggest light bondage, masks, spanking. Suck it and see. You don’t know what you like or might like if you don’t try it.

    And if your erotic quotient remains in the shallows, find a new partner and dive into the deeps.

    Now up your erotic quotient with a copy of KATIE IN LOVE – more than 100 5-star reviews.

    Love Bends and Making Love Is Not Love But It May Be The Beginning of Love5***** “An erotic novel that touches on a range of social and philosophical issues. Sex scenes are notoriously difficult to get right, and it’s equally difficult to avoid tedious repetition if you’re writing a succession of them. Thurlow does both and manages to integrate them in an absorbing story.” IWM at Amazon.com, 1 July, 2016

    Available from Amazons everywhere.






    The post Erotic Quotient – How To Measure Sexual Pleasure appeared first on Romance writer Chloe Thurlow.

  • feedwordpress 16:45:09 on 2015/03/05 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , , sex life   

    How Infrequent Sex Can Still be Good 

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    Does infrequent sex equal a failing relationship?

    No! Complainers sometimes want more, but they always want better. They want to reconnect with the poetics of sex. There is a real pressure to have sex in a measurable way. It used to be that you were ashamed because you had too much sex before marriage, now you are ashamed because you have too little, too much pressure. People will experience that desire ebbs and flows, but it’s important to focus on how to bring it back. How do you engage each other erotically? There are plenty of warm, affectionate relationships and if the sexlessness is mutually accepted, then there is no problem.

    So the quality is more important than the frequency?
    Yes, people want to feel alive. If there is a spark between you but it only happens every few weeks, that’s okay. The renewal, the connection, the playfulness is what most people are longing for.

    When do you know if you are in trouble?
    If it’s months, or when you say, “I’m living with my brother,” or, it’s like, “I’m married to my best friend who I’m not attracted to,” then the way you perceive your partner has become desexualized. When you feel this couple has become family and the desexualization is not about tiredness or stress. When the gaze is never on you. When you go for months and you never think of it except to hope your partner does not think of it either.

    Must both partners agree to the amount of sex?
    Yes – If both people are fine with the frequency of sex. What is the erotic connection between two people? If the passion is there, infrequency is only a problem when it becomes active avoidance. Desire discrepancy is often a problem, but it is not the difference between the partners as much as how it is deal with.

    The post How Infrequent Sex Can Still be Good appeared first on Esther Perel.

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